S3 E30: Winter Storytelling Series Part 5 - I WANT to be a Thought Leader ... but ...

Hello there. Welcome to part five of the Winter Storytelling Series. So this is six snack bite size episodes about conversations that I have with my marketing and messaging clients who happen to also be heart driven, healers and helpers. So this episode is called I Want to Be a Thought Leader, but here's the thing, in my experience.

A lot of us that are driven to deliver big messages to the world will often come to that point through a challenge or something that they've transformed or something that they've lived through and figured out how to survive or thrive through. And I would also say that there's a, there's a well known fact in, in mindset, like when I was doing a lot of mindset coaching that often our voids, so our perceived voids, which is the things that we perceive that we missed out on, particularly in our formative years under seven will often drive the values that we have.

And so, for example as a void, I did not feel particularly safe to be myself or seen or heard as a kid. And so guess what? My business passion and my gift to the world is to help people like you listening to actually be seen and heard and be able to capture their message and amplify it, simplify it and amplify it out into the world so that they can create the maximum ripple effect that they want.

So you see that the void that I experienced has also driven a value and also a gift, I think is what I want to say. And so what happens though, if you have something that you want to actually deliver to the world, And this happened with a client of mine. I don't want to talk about the specific area of coaching she's in because I, yeah, I want to make sure that I'm protecting her identity.

So I'm going to think about it in a broad brushstroke terms. Let's try. This is not to do with this client, but it's another example or analogy that I could use. So let's say that. You, your experience is that let's actually use diet culture, clusterfuckery, because that's also part of my story. So just say you have gone through disordered eating or something that feels like an unhealthy pattern around food and body image and self image, I guess, like, you know, the identity piece.

And. You have unfolded through that journey. You've gone through the process of, you know, I don't want to say healing because I don't think that, you know, healing is such a finite word, but you've processed, you've learned, you've been able to break patterns of disordered eating and you call to deliver this gift to the world, which is sharing with other women about say, intuitive eating or something that would help to really break the pattern of the disordered eating.

But what happens if there is also a part of you that actually created the pattern of disordered eating that is feeling very unsafe being seen. So there's something about being seen that feels triggering. It feels uncomfortable. It feels unsafe. It feels like even though the desire is there to contribute to the world through this message, the fear is far more strong and far more present.

And so I can stand here and say to you, deliver the message, deliver the message, deliver the message. And indeed that is actually one of the things I said in part one of this series. However, there's also the part that is that your system. And if I talk about this in internal family systems way of seeing things, and if you're not familiar with the internal family systems, it's just a way of seeing the different parts of us that have different needs and different wants and different desires that all work in a family system.

Just like normal families do multiple people, families, and there might be a part that wants to deliver this gift to the world. That might be your authentic self, the center, you know, the actual real self, but there's this small part of you that learnt as a kid, it was not safe to be seen, heard speak up.

And so. Your system feels incredibly triggered and unsafe. So when you think about writing messaging that shows or shares parts of your, like, parts of your own story, or even just your message without the story underneath it, there might be a part of you that's like, this is not safe. And often in clients that will show up as doing lots of busy work, lots of procrastination trying to find in inverted commas, the right words to use, looking externally at different marketing systems, different everything.

And in fact, no matter what you put over the surface, what is actually going on is that there is a, an ingrained belief system and fear. In a part of the system that will not let you share. So if, as I'm speaking, this is feeling like truth in your body, and you'll know that semantically I shared this in the last episode as well.

I really love two different tools and I'll share two different apps that I use for this. Because here's the thing business is, you know, Like it's, it, you know, don't be in business if you don't want to have go on a self development journey, put it that way. Because growing a business is by definition going to rub up against lots of different parts of you that might not feel seen.

Sorry, not feel safe feeling seen, or maybe you've got a fear of success or a fear of failure or whatever. So the two tools I want to share with you is the grace hypnotherapy app that I shared in the last episode. And. I will actually check on my phone. Yes. It is actually called grace. Hypnotherapy is by Grace Smith.

I've found that to be an amazing tool over the last couple of months. And then the second thing is the tool of tapping. And if you don't know what tapping is, it's emotional freedom technique or EFT. And I actually use shout out to my coach, Sarah Thompson, the beautiful Sarah. I had a VIP day with her not too long ago, and I heard myself saying so many times all this mindset stuff.

And I was like, Oh my God, I thought that I dealt with this. Anyway, Sarah said, I think it's, it's time to actually just include as part of your self care that you. Committed to either hypnotherapy or tapping or some sort of mindset clearing technique every day. And I've been doing that every, ever since.

And it made a massive difference. So if you're new to tapping or you like tapping, but you resist it, which is where I was like, I'm a qualified tapping coach but I was not using it as a tool myself. I'm also a qualified many different things coach. And I was resisting because my system, my little wounded parts were feeling very triggered about some things that I wanted to do in my business.

So the second tool is the tapping solutions app. And I will grab those and put those both in the show notes so that you can use them. And of course, there's always going to be a place for, you know, one on one coaching with someone. If you're feeling very triggered. I actually really love any sort of EFT is an example of somatic work.

Even yeah, dances, there's lots of different somatic coaches. So please, if you're noticing that you're falling into patterns where you're self sabotaging through like procrastination or whatever, instead of kind of getting cranky with the part of you that won't share or won't whatever, actually look under the surface and ask those parts of you, what are they actually afraid of?

And if you need some support working through belief systems, go and look for a somatic coach or a tapping coach or an IFS person, whatever modality speaks to you and get some help, because I will still say that your gift you know, your desire to deliver your gift is there and it's there for a reason.

And it's also not unexpected that some of the parts of us that feel uncomfortable being seen or heard, or they're scared of success or failure or whatever, are also going to be showing up, pushing in the other direction. So rather than getting stroppy with yourself, like I used to, like, for God's sake, why can I not just take action on this?

Start tending to the parts of yourself that don't feel comfortable being seen, because we do need your gifts. And the fact that you have a desire to share them means that you also have the resources to be able to, but it just might be covered up with a bit of dirt on the windshield at the moment. And yeah, go gently, go gently, go gently.

And if, yeah, if please get support, if you feel that you need to get support, very, very important. And I will be back next week for part six.

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