S5E13: Embodying Authenticity + Following Freedom with Latoya Dixon Smith

Latoya Dixon Smith is a boudoir photographer, embodiment coach, and international speaker based in Greenville, SC. Featured on HBO, she has also been widely featured in publications including ESSENCE, The Huffington Post, and The Greenville Business Magazine.

In addition to activating women to connect with their confidence through empowering boudoir healing ceremonies and photos, Latoya enjoys speaking with women about accessing pleasure, power, and peace through the power of the feminine essence. 

In this ep we chat about:

• Latoya's earlier path as an engineer and how even in that environment, she always led from a space of emotional intelligence and quiet power
• how Latoya's process includes grounding and breathwork to help her beautiful clients relax and soften before even reaching for the camera
• how her clients respond to the finished boudoir pics, and how this opens up a real connection to and recognition with their authentic selves 
• how Latoya's allows the body to lead in photogrpahy sessions, rather than using a specific set of poses that may or may not feel comfortable for her client
• freedom as a guiding force in business and how it has most recently led to creating a retreat that wraps together personal branding, boudoir photography and personal styling into one delicious authenticity-unveiling space 

Find Latoya online at her website, and her retreat info.

or go say hi on Instagram at @greenvilleboudoir or @latoyadixonsmith

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It is high time you STOPPED all the polishing, pretending, curating, farcical half-truth telling, systems of oppression proliferating, totally unsustainable clusterfckery that most marketing / coaching / social media 'experts' espouse

TRANSCRIPT - Embodying Authenticity + Following Freedom with Latoya Dixon Smith

Latoya Dixon Smith: [00:00:00] the photos that anyone's gonna love and appreciate the most, especially when they see themselves, is when they are relaxed, deeply relaxed into their body and they can see. Their authenticity shine through not, you know, shoulders raised to your ears when you're tense and stress or awkwardly posing in a position 

Kylie Patchett: Welcome to the Wild and finally fucking free podcast show. This is a space where truth talking gets real. Behind the scenes grit of the future humans is laid bare, and we are celebrating and sharing the real raw stories of change. Agents, neuros, sparkly people, the witchy wild women, the deep feelers, the unapologetic senses, the status quo challenges, and the huge hearted healers and helpers.

And guiding you through this wild ride of entrepreneurship and full heart led contribution to the world is me, your host, Kylie Patchett, [00:01:00] A-K-E-K-P. I am a proudly neuros, sparkly, natural born, status quo, challenger, and I thrive on helping disruptors rebels and revolutionaries find their voices, amplify their message into the world, and harness their raw potential.

Alchemize it into unleashing your full potency. Not only will I be sharing the behind the scenes of some of the most amazing, most status quo challenging thought leaders, I'll also be lifting the veil behind my own business. In 2024 I 18 Xed my monthly income deal blows my mind to say that. And this year I'm leaning into how joyful and fun it would be to shift from six figures to seven figures in a quantum shifting year.

All through leading from my full unapologetic voice. My unleashed potency and with my big, wildly lit up heart [00:02:00] leading the way every single step of the way. So together with my guests, I am going to be sharing the mess and the magic.

Spilling the tea on the identity shifts behind stepping into thought leadership, breaking the ties that bind us on learning old patterns and reweaving brand new ways of living, loving learning, and leading. We are here to break boundaries, reimagine what's possible, all while collapsing timelines and leading with joy.

Love. And our fiercest wild woman selves. This is not just a podcast. It is a rebellion. It is a revolution. It is an invitation to join the Mad Hatters Collective Movement. And by Mad Hatters, I mean all the colorful, creative, gorgeous world changing out of the box humans out there. If you've ever longed to be wild and finally fucking free, this is your sign to lean in.

Let's get [00:03:00] started.

Hello everybody. Welcome to the podcast. I have the pleasure of having the beautiful Latoya Dixon Smith in today. How are you Latoya? 

Latoya Dixon Smith: I'm, I'm great. I'm well, Kylie. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to get into our conversation today. 

Kylie Patchett: Yes. I am excited because you are just about to like merge two sides of your business together.

So we'll get to that in a sec, but for those who don't already, excuse me, no, you and your business, could you introduce your beautiful self and the work in the world that you do? 

Latoya Dixon Smith: I would love to. Of course, my name is Latoya. I'm the founder of Greenville Boudoir. We are a boudoir photography and pleasure studio based in Greenville, South Carolina in the United States.

And my story into boudoir photography is one that has taken many twists and turns. I used to be an engineer [00:04:00] working on. Uh, big energy projects in the field of manufacturing, very, um, mechanical, technical, uh, using that side of my brain. That was very logical and, um, as life would have it, um, I got laid off from that job and decided to pursue photography full time.

I started photographing kids and families and even got into weddings before I decided that I wanted to do something that would, was more sustainable to the lifestyle that I wanted to live, which was slow, peaceful, inviting more pleasure and play and relaxation and all the things that I, you know, dream about, but making that my everyday was To me at the time, like just a dream.

And so now that's what I get to do. I get to photograph women who want to play in their curiosity. They want to discover more about themselves [00:05:00] sensually. And now I have the opportunity to even bring in, um, this aspect of personal branding and the way that I personally show up for myself in my business.

I want to share that experience. Um, so, uh, we have a new offer coming where I get to merge the boudoir and the branding world together. 

Kylie Patchett: That's so cool. We were talking before we started recording about these like unusual kind of things that we tied together, but they're. Like if we're called to do both things, it's part of this golden thread that's, you know, leading us to our work in the world.

So I cannot wait to get there, but I really want to dig into, was it, were you photography? Were you doing photography already before you were laid off? Or you just like, once you were laid off, you're like, I'm going to pick up a camera and learn how to do this. Like from the very beginning. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: I was doing it on the side.

It was one of those things where I got bored and I just got really curious. I wanted to, I was a hobbyist photographer and it's actually my son who got me into photography by just being [00:06:00] a first time mom and wanting to, you know, capture his milestones and. One thing led to another and folks are asking me to capture their maternity photos and then eventually their wedding photos.

Um, so I've been growing a photography business on the side, but I've also, um, grown a photography community of other black women photographers, not just in my area in my state, but across the country. And that was really what helped me to expand and to just explore more of like what this industry could really offer me.

And it took me. I don't know. It brought me to meet some amazing people. Um, I've gotten to travel a lot more. Um, just really exciting way to see how, you know, just, I think that was just an idea, something that I just wanted to do to be creative. That wasn't, you know, work, um, eventually turned into a business, but, um, it's one that it, it's a, [00:07:00] it's life giving.

For 

Kylie Patchett: sure. I'm so interested to like hear. If you, how long since you left engineering? Like how many years are we? 

Latoya Dixon Smith: So my daughter is six now. So it's been about six and a half, seven years since. So 

Kylie Patchett: you're, you're a little way in to this transition, but can you. Like cast your mind back and be like Latoya's reality, particularly your internal reality and your identity as an engineer then versus Latoya here.

What, what do you like, what do you want to say? Like you, you just made a face. It's like, Whoa, okay. Well, no, 

Latoya Dixon Smith: this is actually really timely. I was talking to my assistant about this today. It was actually, as we were kind of. Expanding on the messaging for this new offer and why it's so important for us to, to show up in our authenticity and some of the reasons that hold us back from [00:08:00] doing so.

And for me, that Latoya was very much focused on image and reputation being squeaky clean, pristine, you know, don't, don't stand out too much. It's just going to cause too much attention. Um, I was very much focused on a very limited track. Of what success looked like and as a result of that, it was. It was very stressful for, for me.

Um, and I didn't realize how yeah, much stress I was holding in my body just from the nature of the culture of the, the space that I was in and the environment of the workplace. Mm-hmm. Until after I left, because my husband and I were actually trying to conceive during that period and we were unsuccessful for about a year and a half.

Mm-hmm . Suddenly four months after being laid off, you know, our miracle.

Kylie Patchett: So good. [00:09:00] Do you, um, do you remember what it was like in that environment? Because you said like, you know, it's, it's painful to be trying to fit into this box. That's so limited, but I'm so interested in. Especially boudoir photography. So I know you said that you started like with weddings and things, and I imagine that that creates a calendar full of like weekend work, which is not the definition of freedom and lovely relaxation that you are seeking.

Um, but I'm wondering too, with the move to boudoir, like, is it that you were like, that was part of your identity of like, I'm Quite sort of identified as one particular image and that like the boudoir brings out the sensuality and the more like play and I don't know like to me it's more like flow rather than being in this one particular identity that's got right and wrong ways of doing things.

Latoya Dixon Smith: Absolutely. So, The work that I've, I've done with Green Book Boudoir has, has been [00:10:00] largely like a personal journey for me. Um, it's given me the space and the freedom to explore the depths of Latoya even, um, where I felt more confined previously. So one of the things that I remember, some of the feedback that I got, and mind you, it wasn't, it wasn't all bad.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, Yeah. I do have to say that. That is a disclaimer. Yeah. But one of the things that I remember that was really, um, hard for me to grasp was the way my presence was received. I have more of like, uh, a quiet power and they were in certain, um, in certain roles that I had, um, back in that, that career that was not seen as.

Like I needed to be more assertive. I needed to be louder. I needed to, you know, just command and demand the [00:11:00] respect from people. And I just did not feel natural to me. And I also noticed that it didn't really serve me either to Pretend to be something that I wasn't, uh, especially in a role where I was, it was a supervisory role that I had.

And I was working with, um, folks on the shop floor every single day. I knew the best way to work with people is to get to know people. You know, you, you can't, you cannot push productivity out of someone who, who has so much on their, on their, on their shoulders, not so much on their plate and you're not even checking in.

And so I brought a lot of that emotional intelligence and that intuitive wisdom to my work and I felt good in doing that. Yes, but it wasn't received as like the power that was needed to. really drive productivity because of course we're, we're in corporate, we need to focus on the bottom line and all those things are important.

But Latoya [00:12:00] just, I wasn't seen there at all. Um, and it's so funny because some of the folks that I used to work with, they, they celebrate me now and they say, I don't, I don't know how you stayed there that long. We can tell that it's not the place for you, but you know. Um, I made it work for as long as I could.

And then until the universe was ready to release me because I was going to stay there until I felt ready to leave, 

Kylie Patchett: but, uh, and sometimes we just need the little out of the nest, out of the nest. My beautiful. Um, I love that you talk about quiet power. It actually makes me think of, I can't remember her name.

There was a coach a little while ago. Like quite a while ago that had a whole kind of offering suite around this quiet power of like, we don't have to be the loudest in the room. We don't have to be aggressive or even assertive. Like there's ways of actually, and I'm like hard relating to your story.

Cause I was a scientist in a former life and I just, I feel back into all of the teams that [00:13:00] I led and I was always yeah. Relating and checking in with people and making sure that as much as we possibly could inside of the. Guidelines of the container that we, you know, that we had the right people doing the right roles that were most satisfying to them.

Whereas my bosses are like, we don't care. It's all about the dollars. And I'm like, the dollars come when you like you, when you connect with, but also like, say, thank you for God's sake, say thank you. It's not that difficult to say thank you at the end of a day for, you know, another day. You know, whatever, like for whatever has gone on and yeah, I just think, like, how have people not know this, but it's very interesting.

Very, very interesting. I'm, I am really, really interested. I've just had new professional photos done. And I was just saying to a friend, I am awkward AF in front of a camera. Like I just, and particularly because. I traveled three hours away. I had my [00:14:00] makeup done. I did my own hair because no one can tame this.

But, um, but I had arrived later than what I wanted to because there was a massive big police thing on the freeway and the freeway was closed. And so I'd had this like two hour buffer and I was like, you know, I really want to be relaxed. And I came, it was like 39 degrees, which is like 100 or. Something like that in Fahrenheit, like stinking hot.

And I was like flustered as all heck. And you can see over the course of the few hours of like the shooting that I get more and more relaxed. And so I'm less and less awkward, but when you, when you're behind the camera and you are seeing a woman that is not relaxed and comfortable in her skin, how do you help her?

Soften, you know, to access that. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: Yes. I love this question so much. Uh, so part of the Greenville Boudoir process is before I even pull out my camera and lenses to start shooting, [00:15:00] there is a grounding practice. So we're doing breath work, we're stretching, we're checking in, we're doing all the things that in my, my previous career was not, uh, Receipt.

Not okay. Yeah, it wasn't okay. I'm doing all of the things because I know that the photos that anyone's gonna love and appreciate the most, especially when they see themselves, is when they are relaxed, deeply relaxed into their body and they can see. Their authenticity shine through not, you know, shoulders raised to your ears when you're tense and stress or awkwardly posing in a position that, you know, may look good for everyone else, but it's just not quite fitting for you or for the energy that you're embodying in through the photo shoot.

So We always start with breathwork. I'm actually, um, certified in facilitating erotic breathwork, which goes really nicely with [00:16:00] the boudoir sessions. But even even outside of that, um, breathwork has been a powerful tool for me personally. And so I always start our sessions with that so that we can get deeply relaxed into our bodies.

reconnect, recenter, and just know that it's okay to be awkward. So for me, when people say, Oh, I'm, I'm awkward in front of the camera. I believe that everyone is, um, even, even professional models, they just learn how to, uh, move through and flow through their posing in a way that's just second nature. But if that's not, if you're not a professional model, then you're not going to know how to position your body for a photo shoot that you don't.

You don't take photos every day, so I don't expect anyone to feel ready. Um, so it's okay. Like I, I embrace and I welcome any awkwardness or nerves, because that just means you just haven't done it before. You haven't done it enough and that's okay. I don't expect anyone to. [00:17:00] 

Kylie Patchett: Oh, I feel like my body's like, ah, okay.

You've just normalized that my response is actually valid and you know, like to be expected in this situation. Um, when you take. Photos and you, I just love that you've got this process where, yeah, cause I think particularly cause I just arrived and then it was like, and because we, it's so funny. I had hired someone to have photos and I had this really crazy colorful tulle skirt that I really wanted to have in photos because I was like, it's so colorful.

It's so like fun and playful and blah, blah, blah. But it was the first outfit we tried on and that was not where to start. Like I mentioned, like the photographer's like jump up and down and I'm like, Hmm, like just so awkward. It wasn't funny. I'm imagining myself with your process and I'm like, Oh, okay. So I'm.

I'm in my body, I'm not in my head so much. So yeah, I feel like, so when women see photos that you've taken, like, what, what's their reaction? Like, [00:18:00] I'm just imagining. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: They are typically just over the moon thrilled and just in awe of. the woman that they see in the image. And I will say going back to the, um, your comment about, you know, stepping into an outfit and just trying to embody something just straight off of adrenaline that usually, that usually just.

That helps allows more space in your body for the nerves to, to. So one thing that we do is I'll ask our clients to start with the outfit that you're most comfortable with, whether it's. yeah lingerie or any other type of um pieces of wardrobe that you've tried on and it just feels like oh this is This is home for me.

And as, like you said, as you progress through different outfits, you get bolder and bolder because you become more relaxed over time. And so by the time you get to that [00:19:00] last bold, uh, crazy, fun, eccentric outfit, you're just. Oh, I can, I can just be me now. It doesn't, I don't have to perform or anything. I'm just at this point where we're used to it, but going back to how they see themselves, I, I love at some point, you know, I, It's a bit entertaining for me in a sense to, to, to witness it.

I do get a lot of joy in watching and witnessing my clients see their images for the first time. But I think what is the most powerful thing is noticing their self belief just expand even more when they see it because they're like, wait a minute, is that me? I'm like, Of course, it's you like, of course, it's beautiful.

And so there's like a moment of connection there where if there was disconnection for like, I don't see myself as sexy. I don't see myself 

Kylie Patchett: or 

Latoya Dixon Smith: whatever the other adjectives that are in there. Yes, there's, [00:20:00] there's this switch that happens because that embodied form has now been captured and there's now evidence.

Of it being real and it's no longer like this fantasy of, Oh, I want to take these sexy photos. It's like, Oh, I am the sexy photo. 

Kylie Patchett: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like you're like. Peeling back layers of like the way that they see themselves versus the way that Yeah, you are capturing them. It's like, um, creating a good, a good version of like that cognitive dissonance where it's like, I can't have this belief if this is the fact, like, you know, if this is, is, if this is the version of me that's been captured here, then I like Yeah.

You're like challenging directly old sort of beliefs. I wonder something that you just said it makes me wanna ask about. So you've, like, you've expressed about like the grounded and like the way of breathwork accessing that relaxed state. Do you ever find, and maybe the answer is no, because maybe you don't attract these people, [00:21:00] but do you ever find someone who's like, has covered up the kind of mind chatter with a performing type of, like, this is the identity I'm coming with.

It's like. It feels like safe or something like it's more like a, no, I know I'm not asking this question very clear, like a mask type of thing. Do you ever get that sort of disconnect? 

Latoya Dixon Smith: I do get that disconnect too. And I think a lot of it comes from, I think, uh, cultural or societal pressure to perform and to show up in a certain way.

For instance, um, we recently had a client who, uh, was. She's doing the photo shoot as a anniversary gift. And so in her mind, she knows that she wants to show up for her husband and do these photos and she is gonna accomplish, accomplish the mission, right? And [00:22:00] so cognitively, yes, like we've, we've got, we've got, we scheduled a photo shoot.

We've showed up to the photo shoot. We're here to do the photo shoot and body is saying, Oh my gosh. Yeah. 

Kylie Patchett: What am I doing? Hang on a minute. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: Yes. And so. They don't always recognize it, and I might not always recognize it, but I do recognize where there is tension, and I'm always going to invite just softening whatever that tension is.

And sometimes talking through it will also help, because there may be some insecurities behind that, which is why that mask may be up in the first place. But again, I Relating also helps you know, Hey, you're a mom, your wife, you are a, a professional. I get it. Yeah. Like we're always being called to, to, to rise up and to rise to the occasion here.

You don't have to do that. 

Kylie Patchett: You don't 

Latoya Dixon Smith: have to [00:23:00] do that. 

Kylie Patchett: It's like the, yeah, we used to playing the role and now this is a space where you can just get to be you. What happens in people's bodies when you have that conversation again? I'm like, oh. I feel like I'm yeah, 

Latoya Dixon Smith: it's it's a softening. It's just the same thing that happens to your body when you're doing that breathwork.

It's just everything just melts down. And so even that even with that, like my posing is is very much guided by what the body does with the body is is requesting in the moment. And I think another thing that happens in that moment is that they see that the way that they have pictured Their performance is very different than what, how they would naturally show up.

Same for me. Right. When I was talking about my previous career, the way that would ever, you know, show up in her full power and capacity is a lot [00:24:00] different than, you know, The guy, two cubicles down, it's just not going to be the same. So you're talking about what does your confidence look like on camera?

What does your, what is sexiness? How do you exude sexiness? And it might not be very seductive. It might be just a quiet reserved power and it's okay. Like, let that be enough. Um, and when they see that, it's, it's, again, that switch just happens and I appreciate it because we, we're so hard on ourselves sometimes, you know, 

Kylie Patchett: yeah.

I'm just being reminded of when this photographer and this photographer I've worked with over a long, long time. And we, you know, it, it, she felt like the safest person, you know, the most familiar person. So I had that, excuse me, degree of familiarity, but at one stage she's like, give me a sexy face. And I'm like.

Like, I just, I'm like, I have no reference [00:25:00] point of, because to me, that's a particular. Yeah, it would be a performance for me to do that because I don't see myself like that. And then she's like, okay, forget that. Let's just start with, you know, so it's just like, change the question. Because I think sometimes our brain gives us the box that says, this is the way to do that.

Whereas as you just beautifully put. Yeah, for each individual, that's going to look like a different form of expression. Um, I'm curious when you do brand photography, cause we're like, you're bringing these two things together in this upcoming weekend that we'll talk about in a second. But were you, when did brand photography, did you start with boudoir?

Like what's the timeline? Were you doing both at the same time? And this is. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: So I've been exclusively boudoir for about five years now. Um, before I was doing a little bit of everything. I'm still trying to figure out like what, what my jam was. Yeah. Weddings branding. I done food photography at one point. [00:26:00] I think the only thing that I didn't try was like newborn photography.

I just knew that wasn't a lane that I wanted to get into love, love, love new photographers, but that was not my ministry. Um, so branding has always been something that Was a part of my repertoire, but, um, just wasn't the at the forefront. Um, and I love capturing portraits, especially creative portraits, which is why this merger of the one brand is really to challenge what traditional branding really offers.

Like I really, I envision this event to produce these magazine covers for these incredible powerhouse women who are, uh, pushing the boundaries, challenging norms, you know, free in their expression and just allowing themselves to be fully self expressed in ways that maybe they haven't felt like they've had the space or the freedom to do [00:27:00] before.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah. Yeah. It sounds epic. It sounds epic because one of the things it's so funny that I've just had photos. Cause I'm like, I'm totally like just pulling all the, cause my issue is always being when I've got brand photography, which has been like, I've had two different versions of business. So the five year gap.

So like across the last like 15 years, probably had five different branding shoots, maybe. Guessing, mostly with the same photographer, but every time I get in my head about, Oh, I have to go and get clothes and I have to do like, it's a particular look and whatever. I'm like, and this time my, my elder daughter's 20 and she's like, mom, you need to call me farm.

And how about you just wear what you always wear. And I'm like, Oh, but that's not really like the look that I'm going to and whatever. I'm like. Um, this is not about assigning a look. It's about turning up as [00:28:00] yourself. And I'm so grateful that she brought that to my attention because I've definitely got, you know, there's something in me that's like, Oh no, it needs to be a particular look or a particular story or a particular, whatever.

This time I took a ridiculous amount of outfits, let's be honest, but I love so many of the photos. Cause I'm like, that's literally what I wear day to day. This is me in my element. Just being me, which includes a bit of goofball and a bit of like seriousness, but mostly just, you know, like colorful, a bit kind of retro ish, but not like, you know, super styled.

Um, and that just feels so refreshing. And I'm like, why did I not try this in the last four times I had branding? Do you find that a lot that people are like, Oh, I need the crisp white shirt or the. Whatever, like fill in the blank. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: Well, so one of the, the perks of this boudoir and brand weekend is that I am partnering with a wardrobe stylist to offer exactly what you were just saying.

You [00:29:00] know, so one of our clients recently, what she did was had a consultation with her and they just looked through her closet to see what she already had. Just brought that forth, maybe add a few more, you know, basic pieces. But all of the statement pieces, all of the main elements that brings the, the, the fit together already had.

And to me that I love that because we're not creating or creating an image for you. We're really just pulling. From what already exists and just challenging it, just pushing them outside of their comfort zone just a little bit more because we love those edges. Um, and, and challenging them to just see themselves just a little bit differently, maybe a more elevated look or maybe a little bit edgier or more color and they're used to just wearing the neutrals or the black and the whites.

Um, so I'm really excited to be partnering with her. Her name is Tori Bolden of The [00:30:00] Stylettes. We offer styling services, virtual styling services for clients who are headed to that weekend so that when they show up, they're, they're ready to go. They don't have to think about what they're going to wear.

They've tried them on, they fit them, you know, it's, yeah, it's a, it's a beautiful and seamless experience. Just inviting them to, when you get there, just show up and we'll take care of everything else. 

Kylie Patchett: Oh, that just feels like. Like you've put all of these beautiful elements together and I imagine that the results are going to be women at the end of the world when they see the photos that are just like the same sort of reaction that you just talked about with the boudoir it's like oh there I am but I'm just imagining like Because my genius zone is capturing the words of the authentic self and I'm like, to me, the visual branding sometimes, you know, meet with a client, we're talking about their work in the world and this golden thread and their legacy and all of those things.

And then I go on their website and the visual [00:31:00] branding and the copy is very, there's a lot of dissonance and I'm like, that confuses people. So I just imagine that the end point of this weekend is people that are like. There I am. And that makes, you know, like, cause the visual identity is so important. Um, I feel like I want to, actually let's get specific about details because we're talking about this weekend, but we haven't said when it is.

So April 11th to 13th, is that right? And it's Livonia, Georgia. Livonia, Georgia. Beautiful, beautiful. And we are going to put the link in the show notes. Um, I'm so excited about this. What do you, what would you like to. Like, if you feel into the clients that are coming to that event, what would you love them to be feeling at the end of it?

Latoya Dixon Smith: I want them to feel freedom. Um, I think freedom just opens up so many pathways to more creativity and, [00:32:00] um, alignment to what feels most authentic for them. So that would be the main thing that I would encourage them and also just in curating the space like that is the one intention that I, I would love for them to be able to feel and take away with them after that weekend.

Kylie Patchett: Oh, just feels so beautiful. And what you were saying about like you're allowing the body to lead as well, like to me that there's so many overlaps with the way that I work with words and you work with images. It's like, you know, We allow the somatic sense lead. Cause often, you know, this, this is where all the, the brain is the, you know, the source of the fear and the doubt and the right and the wrong and the bloody, bloody blah.

But when you actually tap back into that underneath, um, yeah, the deeper felt sense. And I'm actually fascinated that, cause I always talk to people about the golden thread that runs through. You know, they're, they're lifeline and it pulls you [00:33:00] to this legacy work. And it's like, even when you were an engineer, there was parts of what you're talking about that were very, very like the emotional intelligence, being able to relate to people, being able to help people like soften into themselves and not just treat them like the machines, et cetera.

Like all of these beautiful things that you pull through. Um, into the work that you're doing, which just, I, I'm always fascinated by people's stories. What would you say, what do you reckon LaToya from like, say, eight years ago? Like, you know, not even contemplating leaving your job, just like doing the thing, feeling like it's not actually probably okay for me to be just who I am, but trying anyway.

What would you think about what you've created for yourself? 

Latoya Dixon Smith: Mind blown. Like, I, I couldn't even fathom. I couldn't even imagine. Oh, 

Kylie Patchett: so 

Latoya Dixon Smith: good. And it's not, not even just on the career side. So, I. I live in [00:34:00] the southern part of the United States, which is typically not called the Bible Belt. So there's a lot of, um, religious conditioning here as well.

Boudoir photography is still kind of taboo a little bit. Like it's, it's a thing and people are more open to it. But it, I still don't feel like it's like a mainstream thing that is. as acceptable as it maybe is in other parts of the world or even this country. Um, so I think that And I hope this answers the question because I feel like I'm going off on a tangent here.

Yeah, no, no, no, 

Kylie Patchett: it's good. Whatever comes to your mind, because I always trust that we go where we meant to. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: Yeah. So for me, this journey has been a lot about feeling safe and visibility, safe, feeling safe to be seen. Not just from the public eye for my family, who is [00:35:00] still, you know, they, they love me, but they don't quite get what I do.

And they're not really interested either. So. 

Kylie Patchett: Well, you're challenging. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: And I, I've, I've embraced that I've embraced that this work is really about challenging people, challenging people in ways that can also trigger them to, uh, confront their own shadows, because that's what my journey was confronting shadows about, you know, what is acceptable, what, um, what is appropriate for A woman who's married and has children and all the things, all the, the chatter that that happens.

Um, but again, even for me, that, that, that North star has been what helps me to feel most like Latoya. If it's, if it doesn't feel like freedom, it's not for me. 

Kylie Patchett: You're speaking my language. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: So when I [00:36:00] think about, you know, the Latoya from Years ago and how like this, this, I don't know if she could even imagine this being a possibility because my journey has been constantly like opening my mind up to new creative ways.

You know, we talk about in neuroplasticity, like creating new neural pathways. And I feel like that's what my brain has been doing, you know, still having that. Um, kind of essence of like solving a problem, but the problem, there's really not a problem to solve. It's really just leaning into curiosity and trusting that wherever, I don't know where this is going to go.

And that's why, you know, entrepreneurship is, is like a soul journey. I don't know where this is going, but I'm just going to trust that it's going to leave me somewhere that feels like more like home. Yeah. [00:37:00] 

Kylie Patchett: As I told you about neuroplasticity and, and like problem solving versus, you know, growth and evolution.

I'm like seeing all these, like, you know, getting to like a fork in the road and it's like, which one of these five ways feels the most like freedom. And then this, and I feel like that, and you even use the language that North Star, um, I love. Like the clarity you have on what's most important in terms of like, I can use this as a filtering system of where, you know, what feels most free in my next decision.

Um, I'm curious at the very, very beginning you talked about, um, because when you were kind of doing photography on the side, you talked about like, um, having a community of other black women photographers. So, and it sounds like. That was such a gift because it did exactly what we just talked about. Like it's opening you, it was opening your field of possibilities by exposing you to people that had.

You know, created a career out of photography or went down this track or went down that track. Um, do you feel like [00:38:00] that's still like a touchstone for you of staying connected and having that constant like exposure to what else is possible? Like, you know, 

Latoya Dixon Smith: It is, it is like, and that was one of the things that I didn't know where it was going, but it was growing so rapidly that.

I was like, okay, like we're here on this ride. Um, Yes. Yes. And it was so much of a, again, so much of a gift to me personally, um, to see that I wasn't alone. Like there were so many more people who had very similar stories in, um, wanting to take what started as a hobby and grow it to something that was actually, you know, bringing income.

And some people were. Um, but for me, the focus was, how can we just, how can we stay more connected on this journey? So we did this workshops, we had meetups, um, we did [00:39:00] vision board parties, uh, all kinds of things where we would just gather. And I think for me, that has, It's just been another piece of like, okay, I'm like, what does LaToya really want?

Like what feels more free? And so the connectedness, I think maybe even just feeling the belonging where I didn't really have a community outside of. And, you know, maybe these other, uh, more organized, um, uh, groups that I needed to create something that I really wanted for myself. Um, and then I was able to share it with others.

So absolutely. That community is a gift that keeps on giving to this day. Um, and although I took a step back from it once we found out we were pregnant with my daughter, as I mentioned, you know, that was a blessing that we had been, you know, just looking forward to for so long. And I knew that I really wanted to focus.

[00:40:00] You know, all of my energy on growing this human and being able to show up for her. Um, in the way that I, I, I feel like I feel proud to say that it was a hard decision to walk away from, but I knew it was needed for me and I knew I wouldn't regret it. 

Kylie Patchett: Oh, I love this conversation so much. I wonder when you feel into the light, because you said you've got a son and a daughter.

So when, when you feel into. What you're showing them, and I don't mean teaching as in like, you know, framework teaching, but as they observe you leaning in, growing, taking this wild entrepreneurial journey, what do you feel like are some of the things that they're I don't know. I get, I want to say absorbing.

It's like, you know, and it may, it's, I know these things are hard to quantify, but what comes to mind? 

Latoya Dixon Smith: Yeah, [00:41:00] this, this is a very funny question to me because my children are very curious. They're just like, they're very, very, I mean, all children are curious. Yes. But. I think it has allowed me to have conversations that I did not have when I was their age.

Things about like sensuality and pleasure and bodies and, you know, insecurities, like these things come up, um, Inadvertently, it's not that I share all my clients images with my children, but I have artwork around, you know, my studio where I would have artwork at home. And so they see some of these images and, you know, I, I definitely wanted to normalize for them that.

Bodies are different, but all bodies are beautiful and it's not something to feel shame over. Um, we talk about bodies. I, I provide literature. I buy books for my [00:42:00] kids to help them, you know, learn about their bodies as well. Um, and so even still like my son, he's, he's 12. So he's like the preteen. So yes. We already know how that goes.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah. Yeah. Been through that with two girls. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: Oh, even those questions as awkward as it may feel for him, you know, again, I just wanted to normalize, um, what, what bodies look like and that it's okay for people to feel comfortable in their bodies and to show skin. Yes. And even though, you know, but also, also with that, um, what's appropriate, like letting them know there are boundaries with this, um, because, you know, there are, there are things out there that are just, are not for children, not for little eyes to see and setting boundaries around, you know.

Those types of, um, media and things like that. But even my daughter today, she [00:43:00] was telling me that, um, her teacher asked her what it is that I do for a living maybe. And she said, well, my mommy works at Greenville Boudoir studio. I don't even know if she knows like what that means, but she told me that. And I just.

I was so proud and just happy that she, she sees what I'm doing. I don't, again, like you said, I don't sit down and, you know, teach my children about what it is that I'm doing. It's just by them witnessing me, they know when I'm at the studio, what I'm doing, they know when. Mommy needs to sit down and edit photos and they have to be upstairs.

Like what's going on. But I'm, I am proud of them. I think that they are growing to be very, you know. Self aware, but also, um, confident in themselves. And I think that as a mother, like, that's one thing that just feels really good to know that my kids just feel good [00:44:00] being themselves. 

Kylie Patchett: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a gift.

And also just to know, yeah, bodies come in all shapes and sizes. There's nothing to be, excuse me, Embarrassed or ashamed or whatever, um, but also that there is boundaries and yeah, I feel like Yes, even though our kids still may feel a little bit uncomfortable At least they are having the conversations with us because I definitely did not have any of those conversations with my mother Still now she cannot speak to me plainly about anything to do with bodies or Um, nothing.

She just gets all like, like a terrified looking and scuttles away from me. Um, but yeah, what a gift and to normalize, yeah, the comfort in your own skin and freedom to be yourself. Like, Oh, Oh, job done, mama. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: I mean, they challenged me in the best and the worst of ways with that too, right? Like, so they'll call me out on it.

It's like, mom, like, this is my choice. [00:45:00] I'm like, you're right. 

Kylie Patchett: Yep. Yep. Oh, don't you hate that? 

Latoya Dixon Smith: But, but at the same time, you know, that's when I, okay, my work here is done and you have to go out and find out what that means for you and whatever the, you know, what comes from consequences, learn those lessons.

I try to help, but you're right. It is your choice. 

Kylie Patchett: Oh, you're reminding me so much. Some, some members of my family, um, or my husband's family are very, um, there's like a very particular way that you need to look in the world and everything needs to be perfectly in place and your hair needs to be done perfectly and blah, blah, blah, like very, very specific standards.

And my kids. Went to a barefoot Buddhist school. They were often dirty from like climbing trees or whatever. And I'm just like, it's not important to me. It's more important for me that my kids learn how to be physical and be in their environment and, you know, enjoy their environment. But it's just so funny.

It just [00:46:00] seeing how kids end up, you know, it's like challenging whatever they were taught, but also learning the boundaries and the consequences in different ways, depending on how they were guided. So yes, as it should be, because I'm sure that they choose us to teach us lessons as well. Oh my goodness. Um, for those who are listening and would like to check out more, I will put the link specifically to the retreat, but how can we find you online and on Instagram and Facebook?

Latoya Dixon Smith: So, uh, on Instagram, it's Greenville Boudoir. Um, you can follow, that's the Boudoir photography page. Or you can also follow me personally at LatoyaDixonSmith. Oh, perfect. Yep. Um, that is kind of like my, the window into the life of Latoya. Yeah. Um, outside of, You know, Latoya, the photographer and hosting events and things like that, um, share a little bit more about my family over there, uh, even just [00:47:00] random, funny, or just things that are just genuine to me, unique and genuine to me, unfiltered.

So you never know what you're going to get over there, just to remind you, but just know I am fully authentic and I, I stand by it in that expression, but I would love for it to connect with folks, um, over on Instagram for sure. 

Kylie Patchett: Beautiful. Oh, thank you so much for your time. I know it's late for you. So extra special.

Thanks. 

Latoya Dixon Smith: It's been such a 

Kylie Patchett: joy. Chat 

Latoya Dixon Smith: with 

Kylie Patchett: you. I just, yeah, I love, I love learning people's stories and why their work is important. Bye. very much. To them. So thank you so much for sharing what you do in the world. It's been a pleasure.

There you go. Beautiful. One another delicious, juicy truth talking episode with a disruptor, rebel, or revolutionary sharing the identity shifts and the mess and the magic of [00:48:00] leading right on the edge of your expansion and going first as a visionary leader, as a woman, creating a business and inviting people to completely new ways of learning, living, loving, and leading.

It is not lost on me that you have invested your time and your energy in listening to the show. I'm so grateful for your beautiful heart, for the work that you do in the world, and I know that if you are here, you are more than likely one of what I call the mad hatters, so the quirky, colorful, creative out of the box.

Often neuros, sparkly paradigm shifters and thought leaders. So I'm so grateful that you're here. If you loved this episode, which I'm sure you did, please do me a favor and share it with someone else who needs to understand that their quirkiness and their full unapologetic self-expression is more than enough, and in fact is the secret source [00:49:00] to growing a wildly.

Successful, abundant, nourishing, sustainable business. So here is to us the mad hatters, the crazy out of the box people saying no to old paradigms and inviting into the new. And if you'd love to go the extra mile, please make sure that you subscribe on the platform that you are on. So you never miss an episode and hey, it would be sweet, sweet, sweet if you would leave us a five star review.

It means the world to us and it helps us get this truth talk and this magic and this power out to even more mad hatters. So have a beautiful day and I will speak with you next week.